I Wasn’t Invited

To the parents of World Racers who weren’t invited:

There are host of reasons for not being invited to PVT. The thought processes for these things are as varied as the stars in the sky, and just as individual. Racers sometimes think we can’t afford to go, so they don’t invite us. Some of them have the idea that this is their thing and for us to be present might somehow take that away from them. Some of them want to bond with their teammates and they feel torn between the past and the present moment. Or by the time PVTs (parent vision trips) roll around later on in their race, they have grown in the Lord so much, they hesitate to disturb that growth by bringing us into the midst of it. Some Racers have begun to gain some independence, and for the first time begin to feel like adults in their minds, to bring us into that space threatens to send them back into childhood. Some of them don’t want us to have the financial pressure to make the trip. Others simply want to show us they are doing well without us. And yes, there are a few, who are estranged with us and do not want contact. Here’s the thing, your racer has a reason for the choice to leave you out of the mix, and the majority of the time it isn’t personal. Truly. It is about them, not about you. Here are some things to keep in mind.

They still love you.
They do not want their choice to do this on their own to devastate you.
They don’t.
They don’t mind telling you their reasons.
They are not personal.
Ask them.
They still love you.
They are spreading their wings…some of them for the first time.
Let them.
This is something you prayed for since they were young.
They are following God, on their own.
Remember that.
It is a good thing.
Goodbyes are hard no matter where you are in the Race process.
They worry about you.
They probably won’t tell you that.
They still love you.
They are as scared to be on their own as you are.
They won’t tell you that either.
They might not even know it.
Supporting them emotionally is just as important as supporting them financially.
Actually, more so.
Being honest about your feelings is important too.
Honest heartfelt conversations need to be had.
We do tend to ‘take over’ from time to time as parents.
Managing them has been our job for so long, it is hard to stop.
They still love you.
They really want to be grown-ups and make us proud.
To do that, they have to separate from us.
It is painful on both sides.
Growing pains always are.
The pain will be worth it.
They still love you.
They are excited about becoming their own person.
You should be too.
It is okay to be sad at the same time.
It is a grieving process as your role in their life changes.
Not being invited hurts.
Separation always does.
They still love you.
Would you really want them to stay dependent on you forever?
They see that wouldn’t be healthy.
We know they are right.
They are making steps to change themselves.
It is not personal.
Their time in the world expands their vision.
It will expand yours too.
They will still love you.