I was driving when something caught my eye. It was something GREEN amidst the dull brown and gray landscape that surrounded me. I did a double take and low and behold it was GRASS! And a willow tree that was waving in the breeze as if to say, “Look at me! I have a new dress. Isn’t it beautiful?” She made me smile with her question, and I thought, “Indeed. Your new emerald dress is ravishing.” Somehow the shock of seeing color in the brown and white world around me was an awakening to take notice, so notice I did. Redbuds about to burst open. Pear trees standing at the ready. The Maple in our yard has a few green tufts like a crown around its head. Pinkish leaf-buds are on each limb, as if it is carrying bouquets to a celebration. How could I have missed the signs? I am usually so alert to these recurrent transformations, but this year for some reason it took the green sneaking up on me to snap me out of my winter slumber.
I feel sure the sunlight also played a part in opening my eyes. It is hard to see color in overcast and foggy conditions because they can cause me to have an overcast heart. I keep my head down, and my eyes are somehow unfocused. In my BC days (Before Cancer), I rarely noticed these seasonal whispers of God. You see, I was busy. Too busy. Too worried. Too caught up. Too stressed. Once possible death opened my eyes, I could see the smallest details. It was amazing really…the change in vision. Every leaf a celebration. Every tree a testimony.
BC, I never would have spent 30 minutes at my window watching two Robin Redbreasts hopping in my yard as I did this morning. I couldn’t have seen their story…male and female hunting worms together, finding leaves and twigs for their nest. Nor could I have heard their sing song chirping to one another through the window. I wouldn’t have thought at all about their crying baby birds that will soon be somewhere nearby. It is a small thing to watch really, but now their story is evident because they cannot help but tell it. They have always told it…I just missed before what is now obvious to my eyes. It is a comfort to me really to see the seasons changing. They are so steady, so reliable. Even in the crazy weather patterns and day to day changes there is consistency. (Consistently crazy is still reliable in Georgia. 🙂 ) The steadfastness of it all reminds me of the waves at the beach that never stop whispering, or thundering his faithfulness day and night. In a similar way seasons come and go, and their reliability in that whispered motion is just as amazing.
I know it will not be surprising to you that I think it is the same with seasons in life. Some are drab and waiting is involved. Others are full of life busting out. Some are just plain frustrating. They follow one another like spring follows winter. Regularly. My heart desires to celebrate each one, though that may not always be easy. Seasonally, I know there are those who complain about the cold/snow, who will soon be complaining about the pollen and after that the humidity, and then the chilly nights. Each season they long for the next, but in that longing, they miss the whispering moments of now.
Life seasons are the same. It starts in childhood when we cannot wait to grow up. Then we can’t wait to marry…then the kids…then the perfect job/house…then retirement…then…then…then. Always what’s next. In my BC life, I did this too. Now, I attempt to enjoy each season, and I try not to wish my life away hoping for the future, while missing the present moments. I have tried to learn that even the hard life seasons are valuable, even though I squirm like a worm on the hot sidewalk to try to escape them. It is not easy to look up in every transition. Yet every day I breathe is a GIFT. I see this like I have never seen it before, and in the seeing I find that seasonal change whispers to my heart. Every day…every season… tells a story, I only have to take the time to SEE it.