I Am Afraid of July

IMG_9673I am afraid of July. Sounds crazy I know, but in recent years the whole month seems cursed. I was diagnosed with cancer 9 years ago, on July 7th. Two years later, on July 9th our house burned. A few years more I had my first knee surgery in July, and since it didn’t work, the next year I had a total knee replacement on July 10th. For several years, Bill and I spent our July 12th anniversary in the hospital or digging through burned, waterlogged, possessions. Last year Hannah left for her trip in July, which was a completely different kind of hardship for me…I was left alone with the boys!! Yikes! I must admit I am grateful all these things happened in July…being a teacher means that I had more time to come to grips with the results of all the surprise traumas. Having to deal with any one of these issues during a school year would have been more than I could handle. As it was, there were weeks to begin recovering instead of days. I don’t know about you, but this whole disaster-in-July thing kinda caught my attention. I have dreaded the month ever since. Each year I hold my breath just waiting for another shoe to drop.

This year I began the month at the beach. I kept myself busy by continuing on into the mountains. In fact, I was having so much fun that I FORGOT that it was THE dreaded month. Until today, when I went for my two year knee tune up and the doc reminded me of the date, I had been oblivious to the fact it is my be-extra-cautious-because-something-bad-might-happen month. I totally missed my 9 year diagnosis date…which means I missed my 8 year cancer free date as well. The fact occurred to me that last year Hannah left, but this year she returned. Cancer tried to take me, but I am still breathing. My knee was a nightmare, but now it works…kind of. 🙂  My house was ruined, but now it stands…quite beautifully I might add. The thing I saw today, is that July is NOT a disaster month…it is a resurrection month.

July has always been the birth of our country, the birth of my husband, and the honoring of our commitment to each other. Today I am adding the celebration of breathing, the joy of homecomings, the blessing of shelter, and the privilege of movement. I am seeing the 7th month as the month of completion. The month of hardship turned to the month of life. Once again God opens my eyes to SEE…

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